Seriously, there is little better. Guys in monkey masks, bobbing to music.

I don’t think of myself as a lazy employee and on one hand, blame is easily passed, as I can write off my lack of memory to the shear quantity of people I see every day. I mean how could I possibly remember every watch battery customer? However, pry a little deeper into the idea of memorable events and I think the blame is more in my lack of passion for retaining this information compared to other activities in my life. In other words, I am not passionate enough about the everyday customer to remember simple details like his last name or the last piece of jewelry he bought.

Is it possible that passion makes for a perfect memory?

In my other life, I am a baseball coach and have spent every summer since my junior year of college at Northern Illinois University coaching 11-18 year old baseball teams, (twelve summers ago… WOW, feeling kind of old right now) yet I can remember almost every out we recorded during this past summer’s Babe Ruth baseball championship  game and practically every win we had during our 20-1 championship season. I am passionate about baseball, love teaching and believe coaching with my best friend, Mike, is one of my major successes in life. Coaching is one of my passions. I remember the details. So, does that prove that passion does equal a perfect memory?

Maybe, or possibly it just proves that some things in life are easier to remember.

In 1989 I was in 5th grade, and yes, now I do feel really old. I am pretty sure we studied United States capitals that year. I am also positive that I heard the lyrics to the musical masterpiece above, Ice, Ice Baby during my eleven year old campaign. While I highly doubt I could name all 50 capitals, (who goes to New Hampshire, seriously) I am solid with the fact that you could turn the karaoke screen off and I would still kill that track like Vanilla himself.

So I can remember baseball games and white-guy raps. Pretty sure that helps with very little professional success, but it sure is fun on 90′s night at the bar. Whatever the case, I do know that I am going to work harder to make every watch battery customer or jewelry repair ticket as memorable as a baseball game I coached in 2005. If I manage to create that kind of passion at work I just might be able to make a few more “A-list” customers in 2011.

An Original Idea? Never.

To clarify, it is not that everything I ever suggest for marketing at Nelson’s I copied from someone else. Really, it is just that my education has taught me to doubt that any original ideas are actually left in the World. Stop for a second and think about one of your favorite commercials. Maybe go back to last year’s Super Bowl commercials, because really who am I kidding, no one watches regular commercials anymore, and try to remember what your favorite was from that collection of inventive thoughts. By far, my favorite was the Doritos commercial with the little boy. Remember, he talks to his mom’s date for the first time, watches him check her out as she leaves the room and then proceeds to slap him across the face just as he is about to eat one of his Doritos.

“One, keep your hands off my mama. Two, keep your hands off my Doritos.”

Now maybe that was totally an original idea from Doritos. Maybe no one else has ever had a little kid tell an adult to not lay a finger on one of his favorite food products. Or maybe this commercial never really aired during the Super Bowl in 1994.

I don’t know about you, but I am pretty sure it did.

So, are there really any original ideas left? Part of me hopes so, because otherwise more of my friends in the marketing industry will soon be looking for employment, but part of me is just fine taking an idea and putting my own “original” spin on it like Doritos did last year. For example, I know I did not invent the Thank You card. However, how many people have you sent a thank you note to simply because Martha Stewart told you it was the proper thing to do? Or, how many thank you notes have you received that you were genuinely surprised someone sent you in the first place? Unfortunately, I think too many of the first kind have been sent and not enough of the latter have been received.

In 2011, my first idea of an original nature is to thank my customers for shopping during 2010 with an actual handwritten note of thanks. Seems like a simple concept, but how many of us in retail have forgotten that a little gesture like a handwritten note should mean a lot more to a customer than a huge Cash for Gold billboard? It feels like an awful lot of us retail guys are taking the email way out and I don’t know about you, but I am feeling like the last thing that says “thanks” is an email Constant Contact personalized just for you and 1,000 of your most intimate business friends.

This year, I am not going to copy that ideological trend. Instead, I am originating the thank you note of the future, a simple and genuine handwritten thanks. I will be sure to let you know how my idea works out and, just in case you were wondering, you are more than welcome to copy.

If you are thirty-two years old or younger, you have a memory of this song. It is guaranteed. You either had your first kiss, discovered your first love, had your first high school or junior high dance or teared up alone in your room dreaming about these lyrics.

I promise you did.

How powerful is music that with one YouTube video I can bring you back twelve years (seriously it was 1998) and you instantly remember a moment in your life-like it happened last Saturday? Name anything else with that type of memorable capability and I promise a song probably helped you think of that idea.

Got engaged or recently get married? What song plays in your mind to help you remember the moment? Watched your team win a Super Bowl? Think about the replays of those games and what song is playing in the background. Does it make it feel like this was yesterday instead of TWENTY-FIVE years ago?

Seriously, music is the best history book available.

Working in jewelry, I am a part of a lot of people’s memories. Really there are few professional that are more involved in the big moments in life than jewelers. We get to help guys make a huge life-changing engaging decision. We get to help couples pick out symbolic bands that they will cherish the rest of their lives. If you are a good husband, we are probably a small part of most of your historical anniversary and birthday gifts. Yet, I would find it odd if every time you replayed a special moment, you visualized me helping you at the microscope while we looked at 1-carat diamonds.

In fact if I am anything but a small part of your engagement memory, you need to turn your radio up a little louder driving home from the jewelry store. I appreciate the thought, but trust me the microscope-viewing is not the highlight of that engagement ring presentation.

Music tracks events like a lyrical archive of life. For example, like most, I love concerts. Especially concerts with artists like Ben Folds.

Real musicians.

Of course the concert is a narrative memory by itself, but what I have found is the music stays with you long after the ticket stub is machine washed and tumble-dried. Why is it that I have a hard time remembering the first ten United States Presidents, but I can remember every lyric to Ice, Ice Baby? Is Vanilla Ice really more influential than Abraham Lincoln? (Lincoln was actually our 16th President, but you get the idea) Also, you are totally welcome to stop singing now, we all know “Ice is back with [his] brand new invention.”

So my question is what does your history sound like? Mine is a variety of the musical beats and totally corny love songs, but the best part is these songs are what help me remember what my life was like at a certain age better than any other memento. Check out these  moments in my life and let me know what musical history you cherish and how it helps you remember the worst and best parts of life.

The early days:

College at its finest:

True Love:

If you need a laugh:

However, more than anything, this event reminded me of how important the idea of loyalty is to the success of an organization. Growing up in Kenosha, Wisconsin, my father and I lived for the Milwaukee Brewers and especially players like Paul Molitor, Robin Yount and Jim Gantner.

Three of my favorite Brewers

I remember going to County Stadium with my Dad and cheering for Brew Crew like I was actually a member of the team. While Yount was the player I most respected, as he started as an eighteen year old shortstop and eventually won multiple MVP awards, and Gantner was one of my favorite players because he played my position, second base, Molitor was truly the player I admired. Yount, Molitor and Gantner played 15 years together in Milwaukee and I believe they defined the Brewers during my elementary school days and were the main reason the organization had so much success in the 1980′s and 1990′s.

I was such a Molitor fan that I even stuck with him when he left the Brewers in 1992 as a free agent and signed with the Toronto Blue Jays. I was so excited when he was the World Series MVP with Toronto, but the funny thing was that my Dad was disappointed. My father always believed if Molitor had remained loyal and stayed in Milwaukee, the team might have had one last shot at a World Series title in 1992 or 1993 before Yount and Gantner retired. He felt like Molitor betrayed the Brewer “family” and he could not bring himself to cheer for him anymore. The same player that my Dad believe in so much that he took me to multiple games in 1987 because he believed we were part of Molitor’s good luck during is his 39 game hitting streak was now just another player in my Dad’s eyes and would never be as important to him again.

That is the thing with loyalty. For someone like the woman I work with at Nelson’s, she believed in the business enough to remain loyal. She has a lot of customers who would only shop with her at our store and a lot of people who purchase our Match-A-Pearl necklace because she helped design the program. She has earned her customer’s trust and for that the business is fortune. It is also why the shortest time a current employee has worked at the jewelry store is three years, as in our business, loyalty is rewarded with customer support and employer benefits. One of the key ingredients to our organization’s success is that we have loyal employees who in return maintain a loyal customer base.

I really think loyalty is often overlooked as a key to a successful future.  Think Lebron James and his saga leaving Cleveland to take his talent to South Beach. While I cannot measure the actual success or failure of this decision directly, as the NBA season is still a few weeks away, I do believe the perception of this decision is one that James has damaged his reputation. As we all are very aware, reputation is very important to succeed in any business. Much like my father felt when Molitor left the Brewers in the early 1990′s, if you abandon your support system, you run the risk of having no one left to help you if you fail.

So, thank you Britt, for working for a company long enough to remind me that remaining loyal to an organization, a business, a sports team, or even a friend has more value than just a dollar sign on a pay check.

What I found really interesting during our “beerly” celebration of his new job was that a connection to a principal at another high school in the district paved the way for my friend to get hired. With all his education, classroom experience and qualifications, it was a recommendation from a friend that stood out the most to his employer.

I do understand this concept, since I remember when I started at Nelson’s Jewelry it was hard to break in with the core customers who were used to working with one of the owners, Bob, Rich or Sue Nelson. It seemed that even if I was the expert in the service the customer required, he always wanted to wait for Bob to tell him I was the best person at the jewelry store for this job. After working to get to know a lot of these customers, I finally started to build a rapport, or friendship, with a few of them and thankfully that translated to more people asking for me when they came in the store.

Now that I have worked at Nelson’s Jewelry and lived in Crystal Lake for over six years, I have made a lot of outside friendships that have led to additional business at the store. Sometimes I think in our business we take these friendships for granted and it took my friend’s story over a beer to remind me that my business is also built around customers who enjoy shopping with me because they trust my opinion and judgment when it comes to buying jewelry. Even more telling, his story reminded me that their recommendations pave the way for new business with people who already trust me before we have even met in person.

I like to think of a new person deciding on a jeweler like a high school recruit deciding on what college to attend.  He could select the high profile school, Tiffany’s, and impress everyone with his choice even if he will eat Ramen noodles for the next four years just to afford his brand name school. He could select the state school that many of his high school friends go to, Jared’s, and end up with the same four year experience and education that a state school with get a guy his age. Or he could select his father’s Alma-mater, the family owned-jeweler, and trust that his school experience will be unique and his future bright.

I think in many cases, a family recommendation will lead that recruit to a school that he will be very happy with, just like an endorsement from a friend will lead you to a jeweler who you know you can trust to find you that perfect diamond engagement ring, sapphire pendant, or even a Citizen Eco-Drive watch.

Citizen Eco-Drive

I hope to continue in the friendship business for a long time and look forward to connecting with all my jewelry friends again soon, because if there is anything I have learned, it is that those customers are the best building blocks to my future in the jewelry industry.

Now one might wonder how I could possibly compare a fantasy sport to the holiday of the year? Well Christmas at Nelson’s Jewelry is the one season when I see all my favorite customers. By comparison, my fantasy football draft is the one time of year when I see a bunch of my buddies at a bar without the distraction of our wives and kids. It is one of the few times of the year where you can just hang out with the guys and talk sports.

Fantasy football also takes preparation like no other fantasy sport. Maybe it is because there are only 17 weeks in a football season, but it seems like every time you select a running back from Detroit in the fourth round, you feel like your fantasy fate may hang on the cleats of a guy with zero NFL experience and team with a combined 2 wins in their list 30 games. (On a side note, seriously, how bad are the Detroit Lions? Following up an 0-16 season with a 2-14 debacle is like sleeping through a collegiate test, begging your professor to let you make it up, and then getting a 7 on it anyway. I mean really should the Lions play in the NFL or CFL?) The draft is like advertising we do at the jewelry store during the fourth quarter. We question whether to go with the standard newspaper advertising we have done for the last ten years, or the Peyton Manning of retail advertising, or whether to branch out and try the much more risky, but less expensive internet advertising, the Joe Flacco marketing, during the holiday season.

So now the question is how is fantasy football not like retail Christmas? From the hours spent scheduling employees to the hours spent scouring the waiver wire for that number three wide receiver with Miles Austin skills, I feel like I am celebrating Christmas in August when I draft my fantasy football squad.

Now if I could just rely on Santa to bring me the perfect running back AND the perfect diamond engagement ring shopper, my life would be a lot like Leonardo DiCaprio. Well, maybe not that sweet.

I own his t-shirt jersey, a gift from my friend Adam after I “accidentally” wore a red Cubs t-shirt to a Cubs game that, well really, we just drank at together, and always believed that Lee represented consistency in an organization that is anything but consistent.

Cubbie Blues

That is why it is so hard to admit that I think it is right for Lee to play in another uniform next season. I know it is hard for someone to say goodbye to a favorite. Whether it be a favorite t-shirt that finally ends in rags, a favorite sports figure lost to the number on his birth certificate, or at Nelson’s Jewelry a favorite sapphire ring too worn to repair, one of the hardest things we face in life is letting go of a sentimental favorite. Still, investing in a favorite when you will not get results is like spending $200 on a Keurig single cup coffee maker for a family that drinks a pot a day, really it is just too costly an investment for the results you need on a regular basis.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand sentimental love for a favorite and realize that saying goodbye can be harder than Tiger Woods leaving a single’s bar alone, but I believe you should think of your favorite as a specific moment in time. For example, in October 2003, my friend Chris and I attended one of the most memorable Cubs games of my generation.  We were five outs away, drinking Old Style from a paper cup and ready to celebrate a trip to the Series, when Florida baseball gave us a dose of what it is like to cheer for the Cubs. While drinking literally one section from the Moise Alou incident as we prefer to remember it, and then a few batters later soberly watching Derrek Lee slam a double off the wall to chase my favorite Cub at the time, Mark Prior, from the game, I remember thinking “don’t worry about it Prior, we will get the Marlins tomorrow with Woody going and you will get your ring.” Unfortunately, like an Alex S Gonzalez botched double play, the Cubs blew an easy one and the Florida Marlins went on to beat the New York Yankees in the World Series.

True to form, I continued to back my favorite Cub until some time in 2006 when I realized that his scapular loading throwing days were over.  Looking back now, I hung on to my first t-shirt jersey favorite for way too long and believe when I finally moved on to Lee and his mostly consistent ways it taught me a valuable lesson in selecting favorites; never be afraid to shed a tear and move on, because as Thomas Fuller said, “we are born crying, live complaining, and die disappointed.” I don’t really know who this Fuller character was, but to me it is pretty obvious that even in the 1660′s he was planning on growing up a Cubs fan. Poor guy. Poor Cubs fans. Sure glad we switched to the Rays!

Chicago Cubs

In 2010 we have enjoyed the taste of a championship with the  Hawks winning the Stanley Cup. We also discussed LeBron James and his chance to play in the House that Jordan built. But as everyone who lives on Planet Earth is aware, LBJ took his talents in a whole different direction. With the Bears, we of course talked about Mike Martz and his crazy offense and what it will mean to our QB Cutler and ultimately success for Chicago in 2010.

Still, since it is August and baseball is the hot topic of the summer, we have spent most of our time suffering through debates about our lowly Chicago Cubs. Whether it is the horrible methodology Jim Hendry used to painfully destroyed our beloved team, or just wincing at another whiff by Fukudome, the Cubs have brought more negative comments from my friends than a bar full of married women watching a Tiger Woods press conference.

So after another pitiful discussion involving Big Z and the anger management we need for dealing with him as fans, my friends and I decided to do something I recommend at the jewelry store all the time – switch teams.

One might now ask how I recommend switching teams at the jewelry store, and I like to think of the analogy that buying jewelry is like signing up for a monthly Bally gym membership. If you have ever tried to leave Bally’s for any reason after signing up, you know what I am talking about. It is like the sole mission of those membership people to keep you as a client even if you have not been to the gym in five years, moved to a city that does not have a Bally Total Fitness location for 40 miles and no longer drive a car. They still want your $19.95 a month and make it very difficult to terminate that contract. With jewelry, once you find a place you think you can trust, you very rarely purchase another piece from someone else. While I obviously love that customer loyalty if I am the jeweler who sold you your initial purchase, it doesn’t always work out for me if I have to swing your thinking later. However, just like the epic battle with Bally Gym Fitness Coach, if you are pleasant and ask nicely, customer’s will usually reward you in the end.

By the way, switching teams was the easiest sports question we have ever discussed. First, we put down some ground rules: The team could not be in the National League to avoid the push-pull of cheering against the Cubs. Also, the team needed to be in competition for a playoff berth. Finally the American League team we selected had to have at least one likable player and zero players that everyone loathed. Since A Rod kills the Yankees, and we are very anti-Boston thanks to the Tom Brady and the Patriots, the AL East was left with the Tampa Bay Rays. Absolutely opposed to south side Chicago baseball and unable to select the Detroit Tigers because of Miguel Cabrera and our certainty that he will soon be linked to steroids, the Minnesota Twins were left to represent the AL Central. Finally, with the Texas Rangers simply running away with the AL West, we decided that selecting a new favorite team would have to come from either the Rays, the Twins or the Rangers.

While new ownership in Texas sounds appealing, especially with Nolan Ryan in the mix, and their head coach survived a positive cocaine test and lived to coach after it, none of my friends love anyone on that roster enough to make a competitive argument for selecting the Rangers.

Surprisingly, I deal with this reasoning process all the time when showing diamonds at Nelson’s Jewelry, as many times we will have three Southern African Diamond brand diamond that all have similar characteristics, but for some reason one of the diamonds just does not have the same sparkle as the other two.  It does not mean it is not a beautiful diamond, it just does not “feel” like the right choice, so you must move on to the other options.

The Twins and Rays are very comparable. Twins have a young superstar in Joe Mauer and Rays have an equally solid option in Evan Longoria. Both teams compete the right way, using a mix of solid starters, good bull pen work and defense to win games. Both teams have a young core of hitters and potential to be solid for next five years and both farm systems have developed MLB quality players over the last ten years. If the two teams were 1-carat diamonds, I would be really happy to sell either of the options to a customer knowing “Yes, I will marry you!” was coming shortly after she opened that little blue box. In other words, picking between the Twins and Rays for our new favorite American League baseball team was a lot like picking between Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jennifer Aniston for your favorite Jennifer. I mean seriously, how can you mess that up?

Democracy finalized our decision, as the vote was 3-1 in favor of the Longoria-led Rays. Too bad it probably means the Rays are now going to miss the playoffs , since everyone knows you can take the fan out of Chicago, but you can’t take the losing out of the fan.

By the way, sorry Tampa, but my friends and I figure it is only fair to bring our losing to your team since  you guys play in a stadium where a ball can hit the roof and still drive in a run. Seriously, an A-ring catwalk in fair play… Tropicana Field, really come on now? You can totally do better than that. I mean at least make the hitter call his bank BEFORE he takes a swing.

After spending some time researching this story, and uncovering the various marketing blunders it seems King James committed during his free-agent announcement on ESPN, I realized my story is really about the lack of “rings” LBJ has earned during his first seven years as a NBA basketball super-star. Of course by “rings,” I mean NBA Championships and not jewelry, but I think even a small store like Nelson’s Jewelry in Crystal Lake, Illinois can learn a thing or two from LeBron’s decision to chase championships with the Heat.

For starters, treat your customers with respect and they will respect you and your business. In Cleveland, LeBron James was not only King, he was President, Mayor, Chief and operating the Cavaliers organization like he owned the place. While some might think of that as respect, I think that says to someone that you can do whatever you want because we do not know what we are doing. At our store, we respect a customer enough to tell her, “sorry but your Grandmother’s ring, which I know you cherish, cannot be sized to a 4, as it will destroy the ring.” If we just tell a customer what she wants to hear, how are we treating her with respect?  Sorry Dan Gilbert, you should have respected this high school kid and told him he can’t have everything his way on the Cavs. Maybe then he would have respected you enough to stay.

Another lesson is that a word of mouth referral is the best advertising your company will ever receive. Do you think LeBron immediately thought the Miami Heat was the best place to win a Championship? It is not like they have a rich tradition of winning titles and a long history of star players. Fact is, the Heat’s most well-known superstar is still on the roster and the referral Wade was able to give James and Bosh has to be one of the main reasons that three of the most talented 25-year old NBA stars decided to play ball together in Miami. At our store in Crystal Lake, we love when our customer’s recommend us to their friends. In fact, we spend a lot of our energy at Nelson’s Jewelry corresponding with our current client base and using loyalty programs, like offering 20 percent off a purchase, to motivate customers to return for every gift idea AND to have customers recommend us whenever possible. Before we started our loyalty program, we looked into other businesses in our area, like Home Depot and even our competitors like Helzberg Diamonds and discovered that the best way to make sure customers kept coming back was to offer them a special savings just for shopping with us. LeBron was fortunate that an owner like Pat Riley was in place in Miami, because Riley understood the best way  to get a 25-year old to South Beach was to let him talk to his friends. The Heat’s customer service is part of what captured James and that is a great lesson for any business.

Finally, the best lesson that LeBron’s “Decision” saga gave the jewelry industry is if you make someone feel special and give them a chance to succeed, they will reward you with loyalty – and a purchase. James did not just reward the Heat by signing, he also helped pave the way for Wade and Bosh to take less money and rewarded the Heat with a fantastic chance at a championship. When a customer walks through the door, he usually has some reason to shop, but how well we treat him while he is doing that shopping is usually the reason he comes back to shop again. It is also the best reason to recommend us to a friend. I cannot stress enough how huge it is to make a customer feel like a friend and to actually care enough to take the time to really get to know him. What do James, Wade and Bosh all have in common besides the obvious that they are all millionaires? They all felt the Miami Heat went out of there way to clear cap space to get them all on the team at the same time. It is a smart move for any business; work really hard to please your customers and they will keep coming back for NBA championships, or in my case, diamond jewelry.

Now fast forward to 2010 and if you do not have some type of online status, putting it nicely, your business does not exist.  We spend a good amount of money and time making sure Nelson’s Jewelry is found on the web. We also spend a lot of time using the internet to search our competition like Blue Nile, Jared’s and other local competitors to help make sure we offering our customers the best merchandise at the lowest possible price. We have even instituted a competitive watch brand pricing strategy to make sure that we are selling all Seiko, Citizen Eco-Drive, Bulova and Bulova Accutron watches at the lowest price our customers can find every day.

All of this internet talk leads to the question, how would I buy a diamond engagement ring? It may come as a surprise, but I would absolutely recommend visiting the internet and doing a little research before you ever set foot in a jewelry store.  Websites like www.adiamondisforever.com or the Gemological Institute of America and learn what to expect when you walk into a jewelry store and ask to see a diamond engagement ring. Or even visit a site where you can buy diamonds direct, like Blue Nile or M Geller, and check out the inventory that is available at the price you believe you can afford to spend.

All of these sites help you collect information on details like the 4C’s, or how a diamond is cut, its carat weight, the clarity of the diamond and finally the diamond’s color. I would recommend the GIA version of the 4C’s, as at that link, the explanation and importance of each diamond element is explained without any regard to the price of a diamond.

Once you have armed yourself with knowledge of the 4C’s, figured out how much a diamond in your carat range should cost, and believe you are ready to buy that diamond engagement ring, take a deep breath and walk into a jewelry store. I know it sounds scary. In fact,  I am sure that most guy’s hearts are racing around the same speed as a Stephen Strasburg fast ball when they first ask us to bring out a l0ose diamond. But, just like the Washington Nationals are being very cautious with their young superstar, diamond sales people understand the pressure involved in one of the most important decisions a man makes in his lifetime.

Still nervous? Remind yourself you have the knowledge, she is perfect, and you have to buy this diamond engagement ring to end up with her for the rest of your life.  Then ask me to show you a loose diamond and experience the beauty of this rare gemstone firsthand.

So why the need to see the diamond in a jewelry store if I have already told you to arm yourself with internet knowledge? Well, if anyone has ever been fortunate enough to watch a pitcher throw a perfect-game at any level of baseball, you know it is a special feat. At the Major League level, it has only happened twenty times in over 135 years. As scarce as that sounds, a diamond is even more rare than that, as only about 1 in 1 million diamonds are gem quality one carat stones, only 1 in 5 million are 2-carat gem quality  and 1 in 15 million are 3-carat! With that kind of rarity in mind, you have to do your research and you have to view what you are about to buy in person.

Think of it this way, you can read about a pitcher throwing a perfect game where 27 batter are faced and 27 batters are retired in order, and on paper all 20 of the perfect games that have happened in the Majors have that in common, but does that tell you how amazing it was to see all those outs unfold? If you watch a player save a no-hitter with an amazing wall-climbing catch that alters the way you view that perfect game. It is the same for diamonds. Until you see a few side by side, you cannot possibly understand the difference that two diamonds will have even with the same certified paperwork.

So trust the person you purchase your diamond engagement ring from and trust yourself that you learned enough about diamonds to see their internal beauty. Then remember, the most important element of this whole process is being excited to present the diamond engagement ring to that special person you are going to love the rest of your life. In the end, if you can say that, then you know you spent enough time and energy to be happy with your diamond engagement ring purchase.